The Interaction of Human and Time Lord Gametes
by JunoInferno
Summary: The Doctor and Donna want a baby, but have different ideas about how to go about that. Just very suggestive, mild adultness.


Author's Notes: I do not own Doctor Who, the Doctor or Donna. So, this is a story that wormed its way into my head while writing Planet of the Gingers and I need to get it out of my head to continue that story. Basically the line about Donna getting a lecture when someone offered to tell her about a breeding program. Nothing really scandalous, just very suggestive which is why I'm going with M just to be safe. Thanks for reading and please let me know what you think.

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><p>Donna did one last check in the full length mirror that had suddenly appeared in the bathroom.<p>

Hair. The hair on her head was blown out. She had worked at it for almost an hour attempting to give it that, just woke up, bedroom sexy look. The hair on other parts of her body had been removed or trimmed within an inch of its life.

Lingerie. Purple babydoll nightie with matching knickers. Usually, the Doctor needed no provocation but tonight was special and she wanted to feel sexy. She knew he'd be happy if she walked into the bedroom wearing a sack. He probably wouldn't even think it was odd.

She looked at her face more closely. She had decided against make-up. It just ended up sweated off anyway. She went back to the counter and put on some lip gloss.

Donna looked back at the suitably slutty slipper/heel things she had bought at the lingerie shop. Why had she bought them? Who needed them anyway? She had been on a buying roll though without the Doctor and had known she had a lot of baby-making sessions ahead of her and thought the occasional use of naughty lingerie might help move things along.

"Donna!," the Doctor whined from the bedroom.

Oh, yes. The mating call of the Time Lord. How romantic.

Donna walked into the bedroom sans slutty slippers and leaned against the wall, hand on her hip.

"Yes?," she asked.

The Doctor looked up from his book. "Oh, there you are."

"Yes..."

He looked her up and down, as if trying to decipher her appearance. She watched him process, he was so bloody oblivious at times. She could tell he had just acknowledged that her appearance was different and now he was trying to work out why. It finally dawned on him.

"Oh, right! You're trying to be sexy!"

She sighed. "If you were a regular bloke, I'd slap you. Of course, if you were a regular bloke you'd have jumped me by now."

The Doctor put his book on the bedside table and sat up. "Come over here," he said with a grin.

Donna walked over and sat on the bed. The Doctor pulled her yet closer, his breath ghosting across her neck. "You are beautiful and very sexy." He cupped her breast with his hand and started playing with the nipple between his fingers.

Donna threw her head back, letting out a soft moan. Then she snapped forward. "Before we get too carried away..."

"What?"

"I've been reading up on getting pregnant, but I don't know anything about how Time Ladies get pregnant. I mean, are all positions on the table here? Do I need to do a handstand afterwards or something?"

"A handstand? Can you do a handstand? Why do you need to do a handstand?"

Okay, no handstand. Good. "What about the telepathic sex bit? Do we have to do that?"

"I thought you liked that."

"I do, but do we have to? It's a lot of work having your thoughts in my thoughts if you get distracted."

"No, here, where's my slide projector?"

Donna was completely stunned as the Doctor got off the bed.

"Your slide projector?"

He left and returned with a slide projector and a carousel of slides. He set it up on the edge of the bed to display on the opposite wall.

"Do I even want to know what's on the slides?"

"Donna, don't be so single-minded. Anyway, ought to just take a moment to set up."

Donna didn't even know what to counter with. He was setting up a slide show! Unless these slides were pages of the Kama Sutra, things were taking a strange turn as strange as the scenario she had just imagined would be.

"First slide!"

Donna looked. It was the periodic table.

Things were taking a strange turn.

It was her own fault for asking a question.

"So, there are some slight physiological differences, but the antenatal vitamins you've been taking-"

"Are you sure Boots doesn't sell a multivitamin for it?"

"For the last time, Donna, yes! Now, let's talk about gamete interaction..."

Donna was hoping gamete interaction was a Time Lord double entendre, but it wasn't. Instead, she got to listen to a three hour lecture on the possible interactions of Human and Time Lord gametes. She tried turning that into a double entendre, but it went over the Doctor's head. She decided the best thing to do was to wait it out, but regretted that as the evening wore on. He finally concluded with a flourish.

"And there! That's how ginger Time Babies are made or rather how they will be made. Theoretically."

Then Donna made a mistake, a mistake she would soon regret. She contradicted the Doctor.

"You don't know that it will be ginger," she said about to fall asleep.

The Doctor sat back. "Well, I can guess."

Before Donna knew what was happening, the Doctor was off the bed and had a pad of paper and a pencil.

"What color was your dad's hair?," he asked.

"What?"

"You know before it was gray."

Donna sighed. "Sort of auburn?"

"That's a good start. Wilf and his wife?"

Before Donna knew it, she was listing all the hair colors of her family as the Doctor made a Punnett Square which she hadn't seen since biology class. She finally snapped when he asked what color hair Wilf's maternal grandmother had.

"How can I possibly know that? The woman died when my grandfather was a child! The pictures were all black and white!"

The Doctor was quiet. Donna worried that she might have hurt his feelings. She supposed he had his own fantasies of what sort of baby they might have, probably all tied up with remembering his own family from before the Time War.

"I'm sorry," said Donna.

He shook his head. "No, you're quite right. There's no need to guess about this."

"Of course not."

"I have a time machine. I can go back and see for myself! What luck!"

The Doctor ran out of the room.

Donna could not believe this.

She waited a moment, thinking spaceman would snap out of it. Then she sat on the bed in her most sexy manner, certain he would come back any moment.

She was woefully proven wrong when she heard the TARDIS brakes stop and start a number of times.

She didn't know why she had thought he would snap out of it on his own.

She located the slutty slippers, thinking they couldn't hurt at this point, and walked to the console room.

The door was open.

She looked out and found a scene out of Dickens. London of yesteryear, probably the eighteenth century? It smelled wretched. She saw the Doctor not far away, talking to a woman with light red hair as he made notes on a clipboard.

"Doctor!," she shouted.

"Just a minute!"

"Doctor!"

"Hold on! I'm talking to one of your ancestors!" He looked back at the woman. "Ignore that."

Donna walked over, not caring about the looks on the faces of the eighteenth century Londoners or looking like a slag in front of her great-great-great-great-great-gran or whatever. Maybe they would enjoy the slutty slippers. She grabbed the Doctor by the arm and dragged him back into the TARDIS, ignoring his protests. She walked in and was grateful when the TARDIS slammed the door shut.

"Donna, what did you do that for? That was 1789 and you're dressed like that! You could have caused a riot!"

"Why am I dressed like this? Why?"

He looked her up and down. "Do those shoes have feathers on them?"

"Doctor!"

"Because you wanted to be sexy."

"Yes, yes, I did. Why?"

"Uh..."

"Because we want a baby! What do you think the odds are at this moment of my having a baby, let alone a ginger one?"

"Naught."

"That's right. Do you suppose the odds might improve if you actually tried to get me pregnant?"

"Oh."

"Oh!"

"Let me just put the TARDIS in the vortex."

Donna stalked back to the bedroom and laid down, kicking the slutty slippers off. The Doctor came in and took his jacket off.

"Sorry. I got carried away."

"Did you? I didn't notice!"

He took off his tie and unbuttoned his shirt. He laid down next to her. "I just really want a ginger Time Baby."

She threw her hands up. "What do you think I want? You don't get one doing Punnett Squares, you might try paying some attention to your wife."

"You have my full attention."

He leaned over to kiss her neck and she pushed him away.

"Trousers, shorts off," she said sternly.

"What?"

She sighed. What did he think they were doing? "It's harder for you to start thinking again once you're naked."

He nodded. "You're probably right."

"You know I am."


End file.
